Simple Pleasures

Charlotte:  *farts as she climbs into my lap for bedtime snuggles*

Me:  Ew.  Child, could you please stop farting?

Charlotte:  But I like farting!

(January 30, 2016)

Cause of Death

Molly and Charlotte: *playing Minecraft, pretending their characters are talking to each other*

Molly:  What happened to him?

Charlotte: He died. 

Molly: How did he die? Did he die by being killed?

(January 30, 2016)

Little Feminist

Molly:  *drawing with Makayla, her babysitter* Draw some things that would make you happy as a kitty. 

Makayla:  Hmmmm . . . how about a boy kitty?

Molly:  No! You don't need a boy kitty to make you happy!

(January 27, 2016)

Tampons

Butch and Molly:  *in the feminine hygiene aisle at Walmart to get tampons for me* 

Molly:  Why do you have to get those things for Mommy?

Butch:  Well, when girls get older, things happen in their bodies that cause them to need these things. 

Molly:  So, like, me and Charlotte when we get older, and Mommy, but not you?

Butch:  Right. 

Molly:  *pauses to think a moment* So, when I'm a grownup, my husband will buy them for me. *carries on down the aisles with that matter settled*

(January 26, 2016)

Restaurant Critic

Charlotte:  *sees that I'm eating Chick-Fil-A waffle fries, starts to get miffed, then reconsiders* We had McDonald's. McDonald's is better than Chick-Fil-A. 

Me:  *raises an eyebrow dubiously*

Charlotte:  Uh-huh. It is. *pauses* But Red Robin is better than all the restaurants . . . that aren't frozen yogurt. . . or Mexican. 

(January 25, 2016)

Taste Buds

Molly:  The queso is tasting sweeter. It's not as spicy. 

Me:  Well, you're probably just getting used to it. 

Molly:  Oh, right. I think my taste buds are changing. 

Charlotte:  *gasps* Not the tasty buds!

(January 23, 2016)

Called Out

Me:  Why?

Charlotte:  Because. 

Me:  But why?

Charlotte:  Because!

Me:  That is not a reason. 

Charlotte:  But you say that when I ask the questions. 

(January 21, 2016)