Monday, July 25, 2011

My People

Molly:  *Upon noticing that all the marching band kids had gone home.*  Where my people?

(July 25, 2011)

Saturday, July 23, 2011


Butch:  It's time to go bedtime.
Molly:  Noooo.  I need to stay here and play with toys.

(July 23, 2011)


Molly:  *As the water is draining from the tub.*  I wanna take a bath!
Me:  You just took one.
Molly:  I wanna do it again!

(July 23, 2011)

Farted Your Booty

Me: Molly, are you poopy?
Molly: Noooooooo.
Butch: I did just fart.
Molly: You farted your booty, Daddy? You farted your booty?

(May 26, 2011)

He Hit Me

Molly: He hit me.
Me: Who hit you?
Molly: Daddy. He hit me.
Me: No, Daddy spanked you because you were making bad choices and you wouldn't listen to him.
Molly: Oh.

(June 12, 2011)

He Hit Me

Molly: He hit me.
Me: Who hit you?
Molly: Daddy. He hit me.
Me: No, Daddy spanked you because you were making bad choices and you wouldn't listen to him.
Molly: Oh.

(June 12, 2011)

Just Baby Charlotte

Molly:  *In reference to Charlotte.*  Look at him.
Me:  "Her."  She's a girl, so we say, "her."
Molly:  No.  She not a girl.  She just Baby Charlotte.

(June 15, 2011)

Baby Skunk

Molly: Look! It's a baby skunk! It's a baby skunk! Mommy! Daddy! Loooooook! IT'S A BABY SKUNK! IT'S A BABY SKUNK! Look!

Butch: *Looks.* That's a squirrel.

Molly: It's a squirrel! Look! It's a baby squirrel! Look! Loooooook! It's a baby squirrel! What's he doin' now? What's he doin' now? He's runnin'! Look! He's runnin'! Look! Look at the baby squirrel! It's a squirrel!

Butch: Okay, we have to take her to the zoo.

(June 30, 2011)

And I Need You Now

Molly:  *In a restaurant as we waited for our food.  Singing.  Loudly.*  It a quarter afta one.  I a little dwunk, and I need you now.

(July 5, 2011)

Mommy Has Your Boobie

Molly:  *To Charlotte, who was crying as we drove home.*  Shhhh.  It's ok, Baby Charlotte.  Mommy has your boobie.

(July 4, 2011)

In Your Mouth

Molly:  *After hearing me while I sang to Charlotte*  Sing "Twinkle Twinkle"!  Sing "Twinkle Twinkle" in your mouth!

(July 14, 2011)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Animal Sounds

Me:  What does a bunny say?
Molly:  Rawr

Me:  What does a monkey say?
Molly:  Monkey monkey.

(July 15, 2010)

I Got 'Tato

Butch: Want some chicken?
Molly: No chicken.
Butch: Are you sure?
Molly. No chicken. I got 'tato

(July 23, 2010)

Stop It

Molly:  *Upon being wakened from her nap by Poker's barking.*  Stop it, Poker!  Stop it!

(July 26, 2010)

Want Sick

Molly:  *Seeing the box of Cheez-Its I forgot to hide.*  Want cracker.
Me:  No, baby, you can't have these.  They make you sick.
Molly:  Want sick!  Want sick!

(Molly has Celiac disease and cannot have anything containing gluten.)

(July 26, 2010)

Baby Hungry

Molly:  *Comforting her baby doll.*  Awwww, come here. You ok? You ok?

(August 5, 2010)

Baby Hungry

Molly:  *Walking around the room, frantically looking for her toy baby bottle to feed her doll.*  Baby hungry!  Baby hungry!

(August 8, 2010)

Inside Voice

Molly:  *To Poker (the dog) as he's barking.*  Inside voice!

(August 20, 2010)


Molly:  *Shouting across the house for Butch to come help her with something.*  Honey! Hey Honey!

(August 24, 2010)

I Love You, Music

Molly:  *Watching the Cotton Carnival Parade webcast.*  I love you, music.  *Repeated every time a band comes on.*

(October 2, 2010)

Jus' Fawt

Me: Molly, are you poopy?
Molly: No, I jus' fawt.

(November 5, 2010)


Molly:  *Gives toy a little spank.  Puts it in time out.  Talks about what it did wrong.*  Say sorry.  There, all better.  *Takes toy out of time out.*

(November 8, 2010)

Sit down.

Molly:  *As the three of us (Butch, Me, Molly) started to leave the restaurant after dinner.*  No. Mommy sit down.

(November 19, 2010)


Molly:  *In response to the lighting of the Christmas tree.*  It's boooooootiful.  It's so boooooootiful.

(November 28, 2010)

Don't Worry

Me:  *Upon seeing that Molly had gotten a pen off my desk.*  Oh, Molly ...
Molly:  Mommy, don't worry.

(December 3, 2010)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Hole

Me:  Eeeeeeewwww, that's a big poopy.
Molly:  I have another poopy in my hole.

(July 20, 2011)

Thank You So Much

Me:  What do you say when someone tells you you're pretty?
Molly:  Thank you.
Me:  And what do you say when someone says your hair is pretty?
Molly:  Thank you.
Me:  And what do you say when someone tells you you're smart?
Molly:  Thank you so much!  Thank you SO MUCH!

(July 20, 2011)

Titty Bear

Molly: *Singing a song about her teddy bear.* My titty bear!

(December 17, 2010)

So Happy

Molly: *Singing and dancing* I so happy have a Christmas tree! I so happy have a Christmas tree!

(December 22, 2010)

Look at the Christmas!

Molly: *Upon seeing the wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.* Look at the Christmas! It's booooootiful!

(December 23, 2010)

It's a Turtle!

Molly: Draw Mickey Mouse!
Butch: *Draws.* Well, that's the crappiest Mickey Mouse I've ever drawn.
Molly: It's a turtle!

(January 6, 2011)

Daddy Change

Me: "Let's go change your poopy."
Molly: "Daddy change."

(January 8, 2011)


Butch: "You're a strange little girl."
Molly: "Thanks."

(January 17, 2011)


Molly: *In response to the quarterback handing off the ball in a football game on TV.* She's sharing!

(January 23, 2011)

Juice > Daddy

Molly: *Waking up the first morning of Butch's trip to Tan-Tar-a.* I want juice. *Pause.* I want Daddy.

(January 27, 2011)

Candle = Hot

Butch: That's a candle. Can you say "candle"?
Molly: Candle.
Butch: Good job. Now, candles are hot.
Molly: *Blows on candle, as if to cool it off.*

(February 9, 2011)

I Don't Think So

Me: "Molly, you are the coolest kid ever."
Molly: "No, I don't think so. I just singin'."

(February 10, 2011)


Molly: "No. I never go a potty."

(February 15, 2011)


Molly: *Talking to her baby doll.* Goddammit. Goddammit, baby.

(February 28, 2011)

Well Get Up

Molly: "You want cake, Mommy?"
Me: "Yes, I do want cake, Molly."
Molly: "Well ... get up, Mommy!"

(March 20, 2011)

Mommy Want Cake

Molly: "Mommy, you want cake?"
Me: "Yes, Baby, I'll get some cake in a minute."
Molly: "Daddy! Mommy want some cake! Daddy! Come here! Mommy want cake!"

(March 22, 2011)

Need Candy

Me: Molly, when are you going to start peeing on the potty?
Molly: I need candy.
Me: Are you saying you'll pee on the potty if we give you candy for it?
Molly: Yes. I want sucker.

(March 23, 2011)

Happy Birthday

Anyone: Happy birthday!
Molly: Happy birthday!!!!!

(March 24, 2011 -- Molly's 3rd birthday)

Sleepy = Silly

Me: Molly, are you sleepy?
Molly: Don't be silly, Mommy.

(March 30, 2011)

Never Listening

Me: Molly, get back from the TV.
Molly: No. I never listening!
Me: Well, that's the truest statement you've ever made, but it shouldn't be.
Molly: I don't want talking! Go away from me.

(April 2, 2011)


Molly: "Daddy, I want more somethin'."

(April 12, 2011)

Colorin' Book

Molly: Where my colorin' book?
Me: I don't know. Did you look on the table?
Molly: No. I never look on any table.
Me: Ok, well, I believe that. But maybe you should look on the table.
Molly: No. It's not on the table.
Me: But maybe you should try looking on the table bef--
Molly: Oh look! My colorin' book on the table!

(April 19, 2011)

Fun Lunch

Me: What'd you have for lunch?
Molly: Fun.

(April 26, 2011)

Sticky Toes

Molly: *Singing.* I put my fingers in the sticky toes! I put my fingers in the sticky toes!"

(May 6, 2011)

Diggin' the Dirt

Molly: *Pretending to shovel the carpet.* I diggin' the dirt.
Butch: Molly, it's naptime.
Molly: *Walking to the other side of the room.* I better keep diggin' the dirt first.

(May 7, 2011)

Just Molly

Me: Why don't you want to go on the potty? You're a big girl now.
Molly: No, I not a big girl. I just Molly.

(May 16, 2011)

KP > Ke$ha

Molly: *Singing "California Gurls" by Katy Perry.*
Me: *Sighing.* At least it's not Ke$ha.

(May 28, 2011)

A Little Light Reading

Butch: *At bedtime.* Ok, go pick out a book.
Molly: *Hands him the Oriental Trading catalog.*

(June 5, 2011)

A Big Mommy

Me: That's right. You tell Daddy he has to talk to Mommy.
Molly: Daddy, you have to talk to Mommy. You have to talk to him.
Me: Well, thank you. But actually, I'm a "her."
Molly: Oh. Yeah, you're a big girl! You're a big mommy!
Me: Yup. I'm a big mommy. Thanks.

(June 10, 2011)

Hey Guys

Molly: *Running up to a playground of total strangers.* Hey guys! Hey guys! I'm here! Hey guys! I'm here!

(June 16, 2011)


Molly: I want more popcorn!
Me: Go ask Daddy nicely.
Molly: *Running across the house to Butch.* Nicely! Nicely!

(June 17, 2011)

Tik Tok

Molly: *Singing "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha.*
Me: My life has hit a new low.

(June 21, 2011)

Yeah! Woo-hoo!

Molly: Yeah! Woo-hoo! Can't catch us! *times 1000*
Me: Molly, could you go play loudly in your room?
Molly: No! I wanna play at my table!
Me: Then can you play quietly at your table?
Molly: No! I just wanna play loud at my table!
Me: Well, Molly, sometimes Mommy and Daddy like quiet, and--
Molly: Yeah! Woo-hoo! Can't catch us!

(June 23, 2011)


Molly: What is it?
Butch: It's a crockpot.
Molly: Oh. It's a crackpot. Don't touch it, Daddy. It's a crackpot.

(June 23, 2011)

I Love Your Arm

Molly: *Hugs my arm spontaneously.*
Me: Aww, thank you. I love you.
Molly: I love your arm.

(June 24, 2011)

On the Way to the Zoo

Me: Do you want see monkeys?
Molly: Yes. Daddy want to see the cows.

(July 7, 2011)


Molly: *Jabbering on her toy phone.*
Me: Who you talkin' to?
Molly: Fireworks.

(July 10, 2011)

Breastfeeding in the Owens House

Molly: *Pretends to breastfeed her doll.*
Me: *When Molly finishes* And now it's time to burp the baby, right?
Molly: No. Now it time for she fart her booty.
Me: *Laughing, of course* Well, yes, that is how it works with Charlotte, isn't it?

(Jully 11, 2011)

Gettin' Dark

Molly: It's gettin' dark.
Me: It is gettin' dark. You know what that means?
Molly: It's Halloween! I wonder if we can get some candy.

(The correct answer was, "It's almost bedtime.")

(July 14, 2011)

Hold Your Horses

Butch: Before we do that, I'm gonna sweep first. So just hold your horses.
Molly: I hold my baby.
Butch: Fine. Hold that then.

(July 16, 2011)

Cookies vs. Dinner

Molly: I want more cookies.
Me: No, you don't need more cookies right now.
Molly: I neeeeeed more cookies.
Me: You do not need cookies. We'll talk about cookies if you eat your dinner.
Molly: I don't like dinner. I like cookies.

(July 17, 2011)