Rock 'n Roll

Me:  *hitting the "next" button after a few notes of "Of All the Gin Joints in all the World" by Fall Out Boy.*

Molly:  *hearing the first few notes of "Love Comes Tumbling Down" by Matt Nathanson.*  No!  Put it back!  I like the rock 'n roll!

(December 3, 2012)

Don't Do That Again

Me:  I'm going to get Charlotte to bed, and then it will be your bedtime.

Molly:  Ok.  And if I still hear her crying, then you need to still be putting her to bed.  Because I heard her last night.  *referring to how her sister refused to go to sleep last night and threw a lot of fits about it after Molly had fallen asleep*

Me:  Yes, I know.

Molly:  Yes.  Don't do that again.

(December 3, 2012)

Not Pickin' at My Boo-Boo

Butch:  *noticing that Molly appears to be picking at the chapped spot on her cheek* Molly, don't pick at your face.

Molly:  I'm not pickin' at my boo-boo.  It's fine.

Butch:  Oh?  Then what are you doing?

Molly:  I'm tryin' to get my booger out.

(November 27, 2012)

It Has an "M" on It

Molly:  *playing with her trick-or-treat bag full of candy*
Butch:  Molly, you don't need to play with that, especially in here.  Baby Charlotte is going to --
Charlotte:  *rips bag*
Molly:  *almost has meltdown*
Butch:  You need to take that in the kitchen.
Molly:  *takes bag of candy to kitchen and plays quietly in there for an hour before Butch checks on her*
Butch:  *goes to check on Molly, sees her put something in her mouth*  What are you doin' in here?
Molly:  Nothin'.
Butch:  What are you eating?
Molly:  Nothin'.
Butch:  What are you eating?
Molly:  It has an "m" on it.

(November 1, 2012)

Oh Man

Molly: Oh man.
Butch: What's wrong?
Molly: Nuffin'. Just oh man.

Smack

Molly: *throwing a fit, on her knees in the floor.*

Charlotte: *looks at her with amusement as she walks over to stand in front of her, then smacks her on the forehead.*

Me and Butch: *poorly concealed snickers and giggles*

I'll Just Wait Here

Molly:  Mommy, is it Halloween yet?

Me:  No, baby, not yet.

Molly:  Oh.  I have to wait for the sun to go down.

Me:  Well, it has to go down several more times before it will be Halloween.

Molly:  *walking to the window to watch the sunset*  Ok, I'll just wait here.

(October 9, 2012)

I'll Tell Ms. Lynnette about That

Molly:  Mommy, how are old are you?

Me:  How old am I?  I'm 32.

Molly:  Oh, ok.  32.  I'll tell Ms. Lynnette about that.

(Ms. Lynnette is Molly's preschool teacher.)

(October 9, 2012)

Good Dreams

Molly:  *climbing into bed with me.*  Mommy, I need snuggles.

Me:  Ok, come here, baby.  *snuggling her.*  You know, you're getting into a bad habit of this again.  Remember, you need to be a big girl and stay in your bed.

Molly:  I had bad dreams in my bed.

Me:  Ok, sweetie.  What happened in your bad dreams.

Molly:  It was dark.  *curling up to go back to sleep.*  I have good dreams in your bed now.

(October 8, 2012)

Charlotte Too

Me:  *having just parked the car in our driveway*  Ok, Molly.  I'm going to go unlock the door, and then I'll be back to get you.

Molly:  And Charlotte, too!

Me:  Yes, Charlotte, too.  I won't leave her out here.

(October 4, 2012)

You Know Who Likes Bananas?

*conversation takes place while Molly eats the banana we compromised on when I wanted her to eat cereal for breakfast, and she wanted to eat chips.*

Me:  You know who likes cereal, Molly?
Molly:  Who likes cereal?
Me:  Aunt Erica.  Aunt Erica loves cereal.
Molly:  Oh, my Erica loves cereal!
Me:  Yeah, so don't you wanna be like Aunt Erica and eat cereal?
Molly:  No.  No, I don't like cereal.  *pause*  You know who likes bananas?
Me:  *knowing where this is going, and the kid is about to defeat me again*  Who likes bananas?
Molly:  Aunt Erica!  My Erica loves bananas.

(September 25, 2012)

You Shouldn't Say That

Butch:  *yelling at the football game on tv*  Oh, you suck!
Molly:  You shouldn't say that, Daddy.  You really shouldn't say that.

(September 16, 2012)

You Can Do It

Butch:  Molly, come in here and pick up your room a little.
Molly:  Well, you can do it.

(September 1, 2012)

You're Not Daddy

Molly:  Daddy!  Can you get me some juice please?!
Me:  I'll get it in a minute, Molly.
Molly:  No, Daddy.
Me:  Well, I can get it, you know.
Molly:  No.  You're not Daddy, Mom.

(September 1, 2012)

Screechin' in My Room

Molly:  *playing in her room.  making ear-splitting screeches on repeat.*
Me:  Molly!
Molly:  What?
Me:  That sound!
Molly:  But I'm in my room.  *opens the door.*  I just screechin' in my room.  I just hearin' my voice.  *closes door and resumes screeching.*
Me:  *sigh.*  Can't argue with that.

(August 24, 2012)

Just Goin' to Preschool

Butch:  *getting into the car to start the morning commute* Molly, do you want the iPad?
Molly:  No, I don't need that.  I just goin' to preschool.  I don't need it for that.

(August 21, 2012)

My House

Molly:  Stop it, Baby Charlotte!
Charlotte:  *continues bumping her with the book she's trying to open, as Molly tries to "read" a book atop a pile of all the books the girls pulled off the shelf*
Molly:  Charlotte!  Stop it!
Me:  Molly, just move to a different spot.
Molly:  But this is my house!

(August 16, 2012)

Me Four

Butch:  You wanna put these clothes away before bed?
Me:  Sure, just a sec.
Molly:  Me too!  I wanna help too!
Butch:  Ok.
Molly:  Me too!  Me four!  Me four!
Butch:  Well, there are only three of us here, so how can you be "four"?
Molly:  Because I am.  I am four.
Butch:  *laughing, totally owned*  Yeah, that's true.

(August 5, 2012)

Boobie Thing

Molly: *watches me take off my bra for bed* Why you put your shirt back on?
Me: Because I was already wearing my jammies. I just wanted to take my bra off.
Molly: But you got boobies.
Me: Yes, I do.
Molly: But you take your boobie thing off.
Me: It's a bra. And yes, I took it off.
Molly: But why you take you boobie bra off?

(July 21, 2011)

Deal With It

Poker:  Bark!  Bark!
Molly:  Daddy, come deal with Poker!

(July 20, 2012)

You Were a Kid

Me:  I think I remember eating this sometimes when I was a kid.
Molly:  You were a kid?  You were a kid?!  YOU were a KID?!!!!

(July 16, 2012)

Preschool

Grandma B:  Are you excited about preschool?
Molly:  Uh-huh.
Grandma B:  What's gonna happen at preschool?
Molly:  I'm gonna get in trouble right there.

(July 14, 2012)

Green Means Go

Molly:  *running around the house, being noisy, driving me crazy*
Me:  Molly, calm yourself.  Please stop running.
Molly:  *continues running*
Me:  *putting out a hand to stop her* Stop.  What color is your skirt?
Molly:  White!
Me:  No, your skirt, not your shirt.
Molly:  Oh.  Red!
Me:  Good job.  And what does red mean?
Molly:  Red means stop!
Me:  Exactly.  So you have to stop running.
Molly:  But I want to run.
Me:  *shrugging*  Too bad.  You're wearing red.  You have to stop.
Molly:  *picking up a green toy*  But look!  This is green!  And green means go! *takes off running again*

(July 12, 2012)

More Teeth

Molly:  Charlotte, NO!  You can't have my ice cream.  You need some more teeth for ice cream.

(July 7, 2012)

Hug and Snuggle

Me:  Here, Baby Charlotte, you want some water?
Molly:  Yeah.  She likes water.
Me:  Oh, she does?
Molly:  Yeah, she does.
Me:  And how do you know?  Did she tell you?
Molly:  Yeah, she tell me.
Me:  How did she tell you?  Did she use her words?
Molly:  Yeah, she use her words.
Me:  She doesn't have any words.
Molly:  I have words.
Me:  Yes, you have lots of words.
Molly:  Yeah, I have lots of words.  Like "hug" ... and "snuggle."

(July 1, 2012)

Dirt Makes Me Happy

Molly:  *spotting a mound of dirt at a construction site we drove past*  Look!  Look at that dirt!
Me:  Oh wow, yeah, that's a big pile of dirt.  I bet you'd like to dig in that dirt, huh?
Molly:  *nodding*  Yeah.
Me:  You just love playing in the dirt, don't you?
Molly:  Yeah.  Dirt makes me happy.

(June 16, 2012)

Charmin'

Molly:  These are my flowers, and I'm gettin' marry.
Me:  Ok, who are you marrying?
Molly:  The prince.
Me:  Does the prince have a name?
Molly:  Uh-huh.  *in the most country voice she has ever used in her life* Prince Charmin'!

(June 23, 2012)

Hi!

Charlotte:  *sitting in her stroller in the waiting room before my doctor appointment.*
Random Lady #1:  Hi there, cutie.
Charlotte:  *silence.*
Random Boy:  Hi, baby.
Charlotte:  *silence.*
Random Lady #2:  Hi, cute baby.
Charlotte:  *silence.*
Random Lady #3:  *sits down across from us and begins filling out paperwork.*
Charlotte:  *leans forward in her stroller to grin at Random Lady #3*  Hi!

(June 21, 2012)

Hurting Me

Molly: *whines softly and fidgets as she's supposed to be falling asleep*

Me: What's wrong?

Molly: It's hurting me.

Me: What's hurting you?

Molly: Bedtime. Bedtime is hurting me.

(June 20, 2012)

Looks Like You

Molly:  *noticing the Smurfette picture a Facebook friend uses as her profile image* What's that?
Me:  That's a Smurf.
Molly:  Oh.  She looks like you.

(June 13, 2012)

Workin' on the Dirt

Molly:  *standing at the window, watching the road work crews in front of our house for the third day in a row* They're workin' on the dirt again!

(June 13, 2012)

Go to Town

Butch:  *handing Molly a Swiffer duster after she begged for one all morning so she could help clean* Here you go.  Go to town.
Molly:  *pausing, looking around the room*  Where is the town?

(June 12, 2012)

It's Ugly

Molly:  *looking out the window at the beginning of a storm* Mom!  Dad!  There's somethin' wrong out there! There's somethin' wrong out there!  It's ugly!

(June 11, 2012)

And You Aren't There with Me

Molly:  *wanders out to the living room after waking up in the middle of the night*
Me:  *reading on the couch* What's wrong, Molly?
Molly:  *in the most pitiful voice ever heard* The cover just get off me.  The cover not on me, and you aren't there with me.

(June 9, 2012)

Exactly

Me:  *discussing how Molly got permanent marker on herself during a visit to the band room*  You know, that's like Daddy's biggest fear.
Butch:  I know.  I was freaking out when I saw her.  Meredith kept telling me to calm down and let her be a kid.
Molly:  Exactly.  Exactly, Daddy.

(June 5, 2012)

Thirteen Minutes

Me:  *hugging Molly*  Does Mommy love you?
Molly:  Yes!
Me:  How much do I love you?
Molly:  Thirteen minutes!

(May 29, 2012)

Happy Mother's Day

Molly:  Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!
Me:  Awwww, thank you, sweetie.
Molly:  Now say, "Happy Valentine's Day, Molly," okay?
Me:  *laughing* Happy Valentine's Day, Molly.
Molly:  Thanks!

(May, 13, 2012)

Not Today

Me:  *At the end of a time-out talk about her behavior* So are you ready to listen now?
Molly:  Not today.  Just not today.

(May 6, 2012)

Very Thirsty

Molly:  *attempting to stall bedtime* I'm very thirsty.
Butch:  No, you're not.
Molly:  Yes, I am.  *getting right up in Butch's face*  Look!

(April 17, 2012)

Losin' It

Molly:  What you got there?
Me:  Some work I have to take home tonight so I can finish it.  So Daddy can take it back to school for me tomorrow.
Molly:  No!  Don't have Daddy take it.  He'll lose it.
Me:  Oh he will?
Molly:  Yeah.  Daddy, you're losin' it.

(April 17, 2012)

Don't Cry, Daddy

Butch:  *upon walking into the bathroom to find that Molly has had a poop accident in the tub and is now standing half-in-half-out of the tub, attempting to wipe her wet self with toilet paper, with pieces of toilet paper floating in the tub and the toilet as well.*  Oh, Molly ...

Molly:  Don't cry, Daddy.  It's ok.  Don't cry, Daddy.

(April 12, 2012)

Like Rapunzel's Hair

Molly:  *describing her first poop in the potty*  It was big enough.  And it was loooooooooong like Rapunzel's hair.

(April 12, 2012)

Yes I Am, Mom

Me:  Do you want regular pancakes or chocolate-chip pancakes?
Molly:  Plain pancakes.
Me:  You're not my child.
Molly:  *matter-of-factly*  Yes I am, Mom.  *walks away*

(April 8, 2012)

Proud

Molly:  *As we are snuggling at bedtime, she suddenly whispers* Hey. I'm proud of you for peeing in the potty.


(April 2, 2012)

Potty Rain

Me: Good job! Now hold on a second and make sure you give the pee pee a chance to drip off some in the potty so it doesn't run down your legs this time.

Molly: It can drip down like rain!

Me: Yes, exactly. It can drip like the rain.

Molly: Like potty rain!

(April 2, 2012)

Very Hungry for Cake

Molly:  *Walks up to find me eating some of her leftover birthday cake.*  I want a cake.
Me:  You need to eat your rice.  You have to eat dinner before you can have cake.
Molly:  But no, not rice.  I'm very hungry for cake.

(April 2, 2012)

Could You Sing That?

Molly:  *Sings something that sounds like gibberish, then looks at me.*  Could you sing that?
Me:  No, I don't know that song.
Molly:  But could you sing that for me?
Me:  I don't know that song, so I can't sing it.
Molly:  You just sing, "All the chicken in the barn tastes oh so fab'lous."  Now could you sing that?

(April 1, 2012)

You're Killin' Me

Molly:  *Hands me her juice cup.*
Me:  *Waits expectantly for her to actually ask for more juice.*
Molly:  Get more some more juice.
Me:  *Waits expectantly for her to ASK for more juice.*
Molly:  Mom, could you get me some juice?
Me:  *Gives her a look and waits expectantly for her to say "please."*
Molly:  Mom, you're killin' me!

(March 30, 2012)

Just Whatever

Molly:  Dad, you have to get my cup.
Butch:  Bring to me, and I'll fill it up for you.
Molly:  Whatever, Dad.  Just whatever.

(March 25, 2012)

What Are You Supposed to Do?

Molly:  *Trips and dumps her bowl of rice that she had been told to leave on the table but was instead carrying back and forth across the living room for no reason.*

Me:  Molly Grace!  What are you supposed to do with your rice?!  (Correct answer:  Leave it on the table.)

Molly:  Not dump it.

(March 25, 2012)

I Know You're Busy

Molly:  Come on, Dad, play with me!
Butch:  Well, Molly, I'm cleaning up right now, ok?
Molly:  But play with me!
Butch:  I can't play right now.  I'm cleaning up.
Molly:  Dad, I know you're busy.  But you're not busy.  Play with me!

(March 25, 2012)

Too Busy

Butch: Come on, let's clean up.
Molly: No, it's not time to clean up. It's time to make a mess.
Butch: Fine then. We'll just skip cleaning up and go right to bed. Come on.
Molly: No, I can't go in there. I'm too busy. I can't do it. I'm too busy.

(March 17, 2012)

I Never See You

Molly:  *jumping on her bed with her stuffed dog*  This is fun.  I never see you because you're always under Baby Charlotte's bed.

(March 17, 2012)

I'm Jus' Telling You

Molly: Dad.
Butch: Yes, Molly.
Molly: I'm jus' telling you that I'm very tired and going to sleep and the light is on out there. *pointing out the car window to a streetlight*
Butch: Ok, baby.

(March 8, 2012)

Build-A-Bear

Molly: *Seeing an ad poster for Build-A-Bear.* I love bears. I love Build-A-Bears.

Me: What? Molly, how do even know what Build-A-Bear is?

Molly: Build-A-Bears are cuddly. They are lovely, and I want to snuggle them.

(February 22, 2012)

Mommy Nikki Owens

Molly:  *Incessant whining about some tiny Barbie piece she couldn't find and wanted us to magically produce for her.*

Me:  Molly, we don't know where it is.  You can keep looking for it, or you can get over it and play without it. Just drop it with the whining.

Molly:  *More whining.*

Me:  Molly Grace.  *Stern look.*

Molly:  Mommy Nikki Owens.  *Stern look.*

Me:  *Fit of laughter, killing all attempts to parent effectively.*

(February 19, 2012)

Not a car

Molly: Can you just carry my Barbies?
Me: We can put them in your bag with these other things.
Molly: No, you can just carry them.
Me: But your Barbies want to ride in your bag.
Molly: *holding up the bag* This is not a car, Mom.

(February 10, 2012)

Best Friend, Part 2

Molly:  *Hugging my arm tightly*  You're my best friend.

(January 18, 2012)

Louder More

Molly:  *Upon seeing her baby sister had woken from her nap.*  Mommy!  Now I can be louder more!

(January 16, 2012)

In This House

Me:  What's your daddy's name?
Molly:  Butch.
Me:  What's your mommy's name?
Molly:  Nikki.
Me:  What's your sister's name?
Molly:  Charlotte Anne.
Me:  What's your name?
Molly:  Molly Grace.
Me:  How old are you?
Molly:  Three.
Me:  And where do you live?  *Expecting to hear the name of our town.*
Molly:  In this house.

(January 14, 2012)

I Just Saying' It

Molly: *Incoherent mumbling.*
Me: What that?
Molly: It's just _Toy Story_.
Me: What about _Toy Story_?
Molly: I just sayin' it.

(January 10, 2012)

Mommy Said Yes

Molly:  I wanna watch the iPad.
Me:  Well, you have to ask your daddy about that.
Molly:  *Goes to Butch.*  Daddy, I wanna watch the iPad.
Butch:  I'm using it right now, but you can have it in a little bit when I'm done.
Molly:  But Mommy said yes!

(January 1, 2012)