Magician

Charlotte:  *upon seeing Butch dressed in a blazer and tie* Daddy look like a magician!

(March 27, 2015)

Delicious Choices

Molly:  *discussing her day of belated birthday fun at school* Well, I had my birthday sucker, so I ate it at lunch, and I didn't really eat what was in my lunch box.

Me:  You didn't eat any of your lunch?

Molly:  Well, I had a bite of one chicken strip.  But mostly I just ate my sucker.  I didn't eat my brownie because I had my sucker, and that would be two delicious things, and that might make me sick.

(March 25, 2015)

Birthday Dinner

Me:  So where do you want to go for your birthday dinner?

Molly:  McDonalds. 

Me:  Seriously?

Molly:  What?

Me:  We usually go somewhere special for birthday dinners. 

Molly:  McDonalds is special. 

Me:  McDonalds is drive-through. 

Molly:  Well we could go in the door. 

(March 22, 2015)

Snots, Part 2

Me:  How are feeling?

Charlotte:  Good. 

Me:  How are your snots?

Charlotte:  They won't stay in!

(March 19, 2015)

Snots, Part 1

Me:  How you feeling?

Charlotte:  All better. *coughs* Except my snots are not better. 

(March 18, 2015)

Ghost

Me:  Why was the bathroom door closed with the light on when no one was in there?

Charlotte:  I didn't do it. 

Me:  Oh really?

Charlotte:  It was a ghost!

(March 19, 2015)

Warm Juice

Charlotte: *grunting and staggering toward me*

Me: Are you trying to poopie?

Charlotte: *falling into my lap* No. I drank warm juice . . . and it make me walk slow. So slowly. *thoughtful pause* But I can still run fast. 

(March 17, 2015)

Daddy's Mistake

Molly: What kind of pizza are you making?

Butch: Pepperoni. 

Molly: I don't like pepperoni!

Butch: Yes, you do. 

Molly: No, I don't. 

Butch: Yes, you do. It's what we get from Gusano's all the time. 

Molly:  No, it's not!

Butch: It is. 

Me: Actually, it's not. 

Butch: What? Oh. Whatever, you can pick the pepperoni off. 

Molly: You were just mistaken. 

(March 15, 2015)

Invisible

Me: *changing Charlotte's poopy diaper*

Charlotte: *goes to put a toy near the poop*

Me: No!

Charlotte: Why?

Me: Because if you get poop on that toy, we'll have to throw it away. 

Charlotte: Why?

Me: Because poop can make you sick if you touch it. 

Charlotte: Oh. What about peepee?

Me:  Yes, peepee too. 

Charlotte: What about farts?

Me: Yeah sure. Farts too. 

Charlotte: *as if I'm very foolish* Mommy, farts are invisible!

(March 13, 2015)

Dark Pasta

Charlotte: *bringing the remains of her picked-over pasta bake to Butch* Daddy, I don't wanna eat the pasta. 

Butch:  Why not?

Charlotte:  Because it's kind of light. I like dark. 

(March 8, 2015)

Thank You

Charlotte:  *hands me something I asked her to bring me*

Me:  Thank you, baby girl.

Charlotte:  You mean, "Thank you, pretty girl."

(March 5, 2015)

Jail

Charlotte:  *looking around* Where can be Muno's jail? *tosses the Muno stuffie to the end of the bed* There can be his jail. 

Me:  Muno's going to jail?

Charlotte:  Mm-hmm. 

Me:  Why is Muno going to jail?

Charlotte:  Because he wanted to see waffles!

(March 4, 2015)