Sunday, December 27, 2015

Big Dress

Charlotte:  *trying to get settled into her car seat while wearing her fancy Christmas dress* This dress is too big for buckles!

(December 27, 2015)

Friday, December 25, 2015

Sweet Potatoes

Charlotte:  I don't like sweet potatoes. Because they don't taste like sweet. 

(December 25, 2015)

Monday, December 21, 2015


Me: *about something minor I did wrong* I know; I'm terrible. 

Molly:  No, you're not. 

Charlotte:  Yeah. Daddy is!

(December 21, 2015)

Sunday, December 13, 2015


Molly:  *ridiculous whining and fit-throwing*

Me:  *to Butch* J.F.C.

Molly:  What does even that mean? It probably means bad words. 

(December 13, 2015)

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Christ Almighty

Charlotte:  *playing a game on the computer*  Thirty-three points?!  Christ Almighty!

(December 9, 2015)

Friday, December 4, 2015

Jingle Bells

Charlotte:  *starts singing "Jingle Bells*

Me:  Are you learning Christmas songs at school?

Charlotte:  Yup!  I'm learning *singing* jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!  And I'm learnin' "Jingle Bells."  *pause*  I just know "Jingle Bells."

(December 4, 2015)

Thursday, December 3, 2015


Charlotte:  *explaining the door-like window that is the twin to our back door* That side is bascally a window. 

(December 3, 2015)

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Not Everybody

Charlotte:  Knock knock. 

Aaron:  Who's there. 

Charlotte:  Banana. 

Aaron:  Banana who?

Charlotte:  Banana that cross the road like an orange. 

Aaron:  *confused laughter* 

Charlotte:  I told that joke on the bus. 

Aaron:  Did people laugh?

Charlotte:  Not everybody. 

(November 28, 2015)


Me:  Are you excited for Thanksgiving?

Charlotte:  Yes!

Me:  We're gonna have turkey . . . and rolls . . . and cranberry stuff . . . and --

Charlotte:  Steak?

(November 24, 2015)

Mess Things Up

Molly:  *to Aunt Erica* Did you go up to the playroom and mess things up?

(November 28, 2015)

Thursday, November 26, 2015

I Never Knew

Molly:  *while Charlotte takes her turn in Monopoly on the iPad* Mommy, I never knew this could be so fun with my sister. 

Me:  That's awesome. 

Molly:  Thank you for my sister. 

(November 26, 2015)

Hold Your Horses

Charlotte:  *trying to get her daddy to wait before unbuckling her carseat* Hold on your horses!

(November 26, 2015)

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Hold the Phone

Molly:  *heading upstairs*

Charlotte:  *chasing behind her sister*  Molly!  Wait up!  Hold the phone!

(November 25, 2015)

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Cheese Sticks

Charlotte:  I don't wanna poop out cheese sticks. That's why I'm not goin' poop. I don't wanna poop out cheese sticks. 

(Cheese sticks = string cheese in our house.)

(November 24, 2015)

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Mrs. West's Lunch

Molly:  We had a compliment party today, and we did Eat with Teacher, and I got my stick pulled to eat at Mrs. West's table. 

Me:  Very cool!

Molly:  But she had the WORST-smelling lunch. I mean, I don't know what it was, but it was not good. 

(November 18, 2015)

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


Charlotte:  *taps my shoulder then points to her stuffy nose*

Me:  *looking at her nose but not seeing anything unusual* What?

Charlotte:  *points to her nose again*

Me:  Use your words please. 

Charlotte:  I can't bleeve!

(November 17, 2015)

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Reasoning Skills

Molly:  I think I know why they call it hot fudge. It's, you know, a little bit hot. And fudge. 

(November 14, 2015)


Butch:  You guys sure you want Mexican?
Molly:  Yes.
Charlotte:  Yes. We are experts and won't change our minds. 

(November 14, 2015)

Thursday, November 12, 2015


Me:  *lying on my back in bed, trying to rest and kick a nasty sinus mess*

Charlotte: *sits on me, facing toward my feet* Mush! Mush! *turns to look at me* You're my car. Why are you not mushin'?

(November 12, 2015)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Both Time

Molly:  How long is it going to take?

Butch and me:  *in unison* About an hour. 

Charlotte:  Hey. You said it at the both time. 

(November 1, 2015)

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

A Lot

Me:  After I start the TV for you, I'm gonna lie back down. 

Charlotte:  Aw, why?

Me:  Because I'm sick and need to rest so I can get better. 

Charlotte:  Mommy, I wanna go somewhere. 

Me:  I'm sorry, but we're not going anywhere today. 

Charlotte:  Why?

Me:  Because I'm sick. 

Charlotte:  I wanna play outside. 

Me:  Not happening. 

Charlotte:  Why?

Me:  How many times do I have to say "I'm sick"?

Charlotte:  Ummm . . . a lot. 

(October 28, 2015)

Saturday, October 24, 2015


Molly:  *whining to Charlotte* Why you gotta be so mean?

Me:  What's going on in there?

Molly:  She said my breath stinks!

Charlotte:  It does!

Molly:  No, that was my butt!

(October 24, 2015)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Best Sister in the World

Molly:  My sister is the best sister in the world. 

Charlotte:  Even when I'm mean?!

(October 20, 2015)

Monday, October 19, 2015


Molly:  Daddy, what does "scruffy" mean?

Butch:  Well, it's like Daddy's face, like rough, kind of short hair.

Molly:  Oh, like Mommy's legs.

(October 19, 2015)

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Little Defender

Butch:  *to me*  You suck.  *to the girls*  Girls, your mommy sucks.

Charlotte:  He's just sayin' that, Mommy.  You don't really.

(October 13, 2015)

Monday, October 12, 2015


Charlotte:  *muttering after dropping her baby doll at bedtime* Crap dammit. Crap dammit. Crap dammit. 

(October 12, 2015)

Saturday, October 3, 2015


Molly and Charlotte:  *fighting over who gets to be which Little People characters*

Butch:  Bring me all the people. *lines them up on a table* Ok, we're gonna have a draft. 

Molly:  *starts to fuss when Charlotte takes one she wants*

Butch:  We'll talk about trades in a minute. 

(October 3, 2015)

Friday, October 2, 2015


Charlotte:  *dramatically and deliberately rubbing her forearm across and around her face*

Me:  What are you doing?

Charlotte:  *finishing up* Snot. 

(October 2, 2015)

Continental Drift

Molly:  *talking about the movie _Ice Age_* . . . the Condimental Drift . . .

(October 2, 2015)

Don't Look Down

Molly:  We should fly someplace. 

Butch:  Well, your daddy's scared of airplanes. 

Molly:  There's no reason to be scared of airplanes, Daddy. Just don't look down. 

(October 1, 2015)

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Only Exception

Molly:  *singing* Boys are gross . . . bots are stinky -- except Daddy. 

(September 29, 2015)

Long, Long Time Ago

Charlotte: *referring to the paper she's holding, which she made in school the previous week* I made this in school a long, long time ago. 

(September 23, 2015)

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Grown Up

Charlotte and Molly:  *playing in their bedroom*

Molly:  Come on, sweetie, get in your seat. 

Charlotte:  But Mom, I'm eleven years old. I'm like a grown up. 

Molly:  No. You have to be 34 to be a grown up. 

(September 19, 2015)

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Not Young

Audiobook Narrator: "Young Nicky had . . . ."

Charlotte:  Hey! That's your name!  Your name is in the book. *pause* But you're not young. 

(September 1, 2015)

Monday, August 31, 2015


Charlotte: *pushing her fingers into my forehead* I feel your headbone. 

(August 31, 2015)

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Like Grandma's

Charlotte: *pointing to the car next ours in the parking lot* That car has a tire on the back like Grandma's!

Me:  It does. 

Charlotte:  But it's not dirty or blue like Grandma's. 

(August 22, 2015)


Molly:  *climbs into my bed because of the thunder and lightning*

Me:  *cuddles her close and goes back to sleep*

Molly:  *taps my shoulder* I can't sleep because your snores are too loud. 

(August 22, 2015)

Tuesday, August 11, 2015


Charlotte:  *after Butch closed the blinds for her* I can still see the sun!

Butch:  Well, yeah. The sun is a powerful incandescent ball of gas. 

Molly:  *snickering* Gas. 

(August 11, 2015)

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Don't Tell

Molly and Charlotte: *playing with Barbies in the playroom*

Charlotte: Don't tell Dada that we have vaginas. 

Molly:  I think he already knows that. 

(August 4, 2015)

Dying My Hair

Me: I'm gonna get my hair dyed tomorrow. 

Charlotte: Noooooooo!

Me: You don't want me to get my hair dyed?

Charlotte: Uh-uh. No. 

Me: Why not?

Charlotte: Because you will be bald. You will look like a boy!

Me: No, not shaved. Dyed. It means it will change color. 

Charlotte:  Oh. Ok. 

(August 4, 2015)

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

It's Cold

Charlotte: *at the refrigerator door* Cheese stick! *opens the refrigerator and gasps* My ball! *pulls out her bouncy ball* It's cold!

(July 29, 2015)

Monday, July 27, 2015

Until One Day

Molly: *playing Minecraft and narrating a story as she goes* They were all very happy. Until one day . . . they got mad. 

(July 27, 2015)

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Not My Jam

Butch:  *listening to marching band arrangements of pop songs*

Charlotte:  *running into the room*  What's that song?

Butch:  This is called "Escape."

Charlotte:  Oh.  *running out of the room*  That's not my jam!

(July 25, 2015)

Friday, July 24, 2015

Shakin' Da May May

Charlotte:  *singing* Shakin' da may may. Shakin' da may may. Shakin' da may may.  Shakin' da may may.  Shakin' da may may.

Me:  What are you singing?

Charlotte:   Shakin' da may may.

Me:   Shakin' da may may?

Charlotte:  Uh-huh. 

Me:  Ok . . .

Charlotte:  *as if my confusion is ridiculous* It's part of "Suit and Tie."

(July 24, 2015)

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


Charlotte:  *prancing into the room with her arms full* Oh, Momma! *stops at the table and drops an armload of barrettes, bows, and headbands* Accessories!

(July 21, 2015)

Friday, July 17, 2015

Thinking of Others

Molly and Charlotte:  *having been upstairs pretending to be dogs, they come downstairs to check on whether or not their grandma has arrived, then head back upstairs upon seeing that she has not*

Charlotte:  Let's leave the door open this time so everyone can hear our howling.

(July 17, 2015)

Thursday, July 16, 2015


Me:  *hearing a particular type of ruckus from the living room*  Are you two playing around on the chair again?

Molly:  Well . . . Charlotte is.

Charlotte:  But now I'm on the table!

(July 16, 2015)

Friday, July 10, 2015

Saving It

Charlotte: *pretending to style my hair with random things she finds around the room* And we need this. *holds up a flip-flop*

Me:  No. That is not touching my head. 

Charlotte:  Why?

Me:  Because you walk on that, and it's dirty. 

Charlotte:  *picks up another flip-flop* What about this one?

Me:  Nope. No flip-flops on my head. 

Charlotte:  Ok, we'll just save them for my turn to have my hair braided. 

(July 10, 2015)

Thursday, July 9, 2015

New Ork

Video Charlotte's watching: Look! We're in New York!

Charlotte: Yay!  New Ork!

Me:  You like New York, huh?

Charlotte:  Yeah!  It's where Aunt Erica lives!

(Aunt Erica lives in New Town at St. Charles.)

(July 9, 2015)

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

That Kid

Molly, Charlotte, and me:  *walking down the stairs*

Charlotte:  I'm supposed to be in front!

Me:  No, you don't always have to be in front. 

Molly:  That kid still has to learn. 

(July 8, 2015)

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Ice Cream

Charlotte:  I want dessert please!

Butch:  Here. *gets out a container of cookies*

Charlotte:  *indignant* No! Not a cookie. 

Butch:  That's what you get. 

Charlotte:  We could have ice cream. 

Butch:  No, we don't have ice cream. 

Charlotte:  You should buy ice cream. And cheese sticks. 

(July 7, 2015)

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Picking Up

Adults: Pick up the toys. 

Molly: *starts picking up*

Charlotte: *just stands around*

Molly: Come on, Charlotte, start picking up!

Charlotte: Watchin' is pickin' up. 

(July 4, 2015)


Charlotte: Where are you going?

Me: Daddy and I are going to eat lunch and use some wifi. 

Charlotte: What's wifi?

Me: It's . . . like, the Internet. 

Charlotte: Like Google?

(July 4, 2015)


Me: You know what we're doing Saturday?

Molly:  No. 

Me:  We're hanging out with the Frankes. 

Molly:  Yes!

Me:  *to Charlotte* Do remember who the Frankes are?

Charlotte:  Monster High!

(July 1, 2015)

Sunday, June 28, 2015


Charlotte:  *climbs into my lap and puts her head on my shoulder*

Me:  I think you're gettin' tired.

Charlotte:  No.

Me:  Uh-huh.  You're slowing down, and you want snug--

Charlotte:  *jumps up and runs across the room*  See?  I'm faster now!

(June 28, 2015)

Friday, June 26, 2015

Squito Bites

Charlotte: *watching Butch change his shirt* Ooh, I see some really big squito bites! *pointing to his nipples*

Butch: Um, no. Those are my boobies. 

(June 26, 2015)

Thursday, June 25, 2015


Molly: *discussing the baby birds from the nest above our front door, one of which fell from the nest and met an untimely demise* I love our baby birds! I even love the dead one, but I really love the undead ones. 

(June 25, 2015)

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


Me:  Molly, are you manipulating your sister?

Molly:  No! *pause* I don't even know what that means. 

(June 24, 2015)

Giant Poop

Charlotte:  That poopie was so big. It was like a giant. It almost blew my pull-up off!

(June 24, 2015)

Sunday, June 21, 2015


Molly: *in the back seat of the car, looking out the window, after about 30 minutes of quiet* I am angry at someone who littered. 

(June 21, 2015)

Saturday, June 20, 2015


Charlotte: *on the potty* Molly, why does my peepee smell like grapes?

(June 19, 2015)

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Not Right Now

Butch: Do you need to go potty?

Charlotte: No. Not right now.

Butch: Are you sure?

Me: Are you listening to your body?

Charlotte: Yes. It said not right now. *pauses, grabs her stomach in her hands and makes her voice deeper while using her hands to make her belly "talk"* Not right now.

(June 18, 2015)

Monday, June 15, 2015


Charlotte: *telling me about her weekend trip with Grandma B* We went to church before Eli's party at Marie's house, and we saw water spraying and flowers, and then we saw Jesus's butt. 

(June 15, 2015)

Friday, June 12, 2015

On My Nerves

Charlotte:  *climbing all over me while I lie on the couch using my laptop*

Me:  Are you trying to kill me?  Seriously, you're gettin' on my nerves here.

Charlotte:  With the climbin'?

Me:  Yes!  I am not your personal jungle gym.

Charlotte:  Well, you're gettin' on MY nerves with all the talkin'!

(June 12, 2015)

Thursday, June 11, 2015


Me:  *speaking in frustration at my computer* Come on. What are you trying to do to me, PowerSchool?!

Charlotte:  *sitting next to me on the couch*  Nothing! And. Don't. Call. Me. Power. School!

(June 11, 2015)

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Bad Words

Charlotte:  *being a stinker and refusing to go to Butch, who is sitting on the floor to change her diaper*

Me:  *after telling her multiple times to go get her diaper changed*  Charlotte, go get your freakin' diaper changed now!

Molly:  That's a bad word, Mom.

Me:  Yeah, well, it's not as bad as the one I really wanted to say.

Molly:  Oh, ok.

(June 6, 2015)

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Butch Owens

Butch: *looking for his misplaced school i.d., stops in front of his office door* Maybe I left it in there.

Charlotte:  Oh, Butch Owens. 

(June 3, 2015)

Ever Again

Me:  *at bedtime, stops rubbing Charlotte's back after a minute or so of absent-mindedly doing it*

Charlotte:  No. Keep doing it. 

Me:  *resumes*

Charlotte: *sternly* Don't stop ever again.

(June 3, 2015) 

Monday, May 18, 2015


Charlotte:  *while I'm trying to get her to settle down and go to sleep* Mongoose. Mongoose. Mongoose? Mongoose. Mongoose! Mongoose . . . .

(May 18, 2015)

Friday, May 15, 2015


Butch:  *leaving to go back to school for graduation* Ok, you guys behave for Mommy.  Love you.

Molly:  But what about my macaroni?!

Me:  I'm going to do it.

Molly:  Do you even know how?

(May 15, 2015)

In the Car

Charlotte:  *after I mentioned possibly getting dinner on the way home after picking up Molly at WCHS* Magic Noodle?!

Me:  Well, I don't think Molly will eat Magic Noodle.

Charlotte:  Then we will have to leave her in the car.

(May 15, 2015)

What I Do

Me:  *after picking Charlotte up from the babysitter's house* What did you do today?

Charlotte:  Ummmm . . . *pauses for thought* I don't want to talk about what I do.

(May 15, 2015)

Thursday, May 14, 2015


Me:  *browsing a bra/panty sale on Zulily while snuggling Charlotte*

Charlotte:  I don't wanna look at her underpants! 

(May 14, 2015)

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Leg Pits

Charlotte:  *pointing to the back of her knee* My leg pits are still wet. 

(May 10, 2015)

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Mother's Day

Me:  *helping Charlotte into her carseat at the babysitter's house in the afternoon*

Charlotte:  You know what I'm going to give you for Mother's Day?

Me:  No, I don't know.

Charlotte:  A dazzling necklace made of diamonds.  And a dazzling bracelet of diamonds.

Me:  Awww, you are the sweetest.

Charlotte:  *putting her hand on my face*  Because you don't have a dazzling necklace of diamonds or a dazzling bracelet of diamonds.

Me:  *melting*

(May 7, 2015)

Monday, May 4, 2015

Turn It On

Me:  *tells Charlotte to "stop" then busts out the first couple verses of 'Ice Ice Baby"*

Charlotte:  *stares until I finish* What was that song you were just making?

Me:  It's called "Ice Ice Baby."

Charlotte:  Can you turn it on your phone?

Me:  No, I don't have it on my phone. 

Charlotte:  Then where do you have it?

Me:  Um, my brain. 

Charlotte:  Can you turn that on?

(May 3, 2015)

Saturday, May 2, 2015


Charlotte:  *bringing me the iPad* Mama, I wanna Google. I need to Google stuff.

(May 2, 2015)

Thursday, April 30, 2015


Molly: Did Dad take the iPad?

Me:  I'm positive he did not because you guys were watching it after he left. So you have to figure out where you left it. 

Molly:  *seconds later, coming down the stairs* It was upstairs!

Charlotte:  Daddy put it upstairs. 

Me:  Um, no. YOU put it upstairs. 

Charlotte:  Daddy did it. I saw him sneaky it up there. 

(April 30, 2015)

Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Little Bit

Charlotte: *giggling* Daddy, when you bend over, I see a little bit of your butt. 

(April 26, 2015)

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I Don't Believe That

Molly:  Is the patty on a hamburger made from cows?

Me:  Yes. 

Molly:  So that means we're going to eat cows.  

Charlotte:  Nuh-uh. 

Molly:  Yeah, 'cause burger is made from cows. Like when you kill cows. 

Charlotte:  I don't believe that. 

(April 25, 2015)

Monday, April 20, 2015


Charlotte: *looking up while we snuggle at bedtime* Your breath smell like puke. 

(April 20, 2015)

Sunday, April 19, 2015


Me:  Who do you want to do bedtime:  Mommy or Daddy?

Charlotte:  Nobody. 

(April 18, 2015)

Friday, April 17, 2015

Charlotte. Anne. Owens.

Butch:  *gets onto Charlotte for something she clearly did.*

Charlotte:  I didn't do it!

Butch:  Yes, you did.

Charlotte:  No, Puppy Surprise did it.

Butch:  You're a liar.

Charlotte:  No, I'm not.  I'm Charlotte. Anne. Owens.

(April 17, 2015)

Thursday, April 16, 2015

More Time

Butch:  *attempting to reason with Molly in the nightly shower battle* Baths take longer. Showers are shorter. Showers means more time to play. 

Molly:  Later bedtime also means more time to play. 

(April 16, 2015)

Saturday, April 11, 2015


Charlotte: *picks up my phone* I'm textin'. 

Me:  Oh really?  Who are you texting?

Charlotte:  My boyfriends. 

(April 11, 2015)

Best Friends

Charlotte:  *extensive gibberish*

Me:  What did all that mean?

Charlotte:  It means I love you. It means you and me are best friends and love each other forever and ever. 

(April 11, 2015)

Friday, April 10, 2015


Butch:  *after taking off Charlotte's socks and shoes*  Your feet stink again.

Charlotte:  No they don't!  They smell like strawberries!

Butch:  Why do you think your feet smell like strawberries?

Charlotte:  *rambling gibberish explanation for a while* . . . but Lily's feet taste like pepper and mustard!

(April 10, 2015)

Monday, April 6, 2015

New Language

Charlotte:  *speaks gibberish*

Me:  What language was that?

Charlotte:  Big girl Spanish. 

(April 6, 2015)

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Those Clouds

Charlotte:  *throwing a fit at bedtime* But the sun is still up! *pointing to the window* What about dose couds?! What 'bout dose couds?!!!

(April 1, 2015)

Friday, March 27, 2015


Charlotte:  *upon seeing Butch dressed in a blazer and tie* Daddy look like a magician!

(March 27, 2015)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Delicious Choices

Molly:  *discussing her day of belated birthday fun at school* Well, I had my birthday sucker, so I ate it at lunch, and I didn't really eat what was in my lunch box.

Me:  You didn't eat any of your lunch?

Molly:  Well, I had a bite of one chicken strip.  But mostly I just ate my sucker.  I didn't eat my brownie because I had my sucker, and that would be two delicious things, and that might make me sick.

(March 25, 2015)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Birthday Dinner

Me:  So where do you want to go for your birthday dinner?

Molly:  McDonalds. 

Me:  Seriously?

Molly:  What?

Me:  We usually go somewhere special for birthday dinners. 

Molly:  McDonalds is special. 

Me:  McDonalds is drive-through. 

Molly:  Well we could go in the door. 

(March 22, 2015)

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Snots, Part 2

Me:  How are feeling?

Charlotte:  Good. 

Me:  How are your snots?

Charlotte:  They won't stay in!

(March 19, 2015)

Snots, Part 1

Me:  How you feeling?

Charlotte:  All better. *coughs* Except my snots are not better. 

(March 18, 2015)


Me:  Why was the bathroom door closed with the light on when no one was in there?

Charlotte:  I didn't do it. 

Me:  Oh really?

Charlotte:  It was a ghost!

(March 19, 2015)

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Warm Juice

Charlotte: *grunting and staggering toward me*

Me: Are you trying to poopie?

Charlotte: *falling into my lap* No. I drank warm juice . . . and it make me walk slow. So slowly. *thoughtful pause* But I can still run fast. 

(March 17, 2015)

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Daddy's Mistake

Molly: What kind of pizza are you making?

Butch: Pepperoni. 

Molly: I don't like pepperoni!

Butch: Yes, you do. 

Molly: No, I don't. 

Butch: Yes, you do. It's what we get from Gusano's all the time. 

Molly:  No, it's not!

Butch: It is. 

Me: Actually, it's not. 

Butch: What? Oh. Whatever, you can pick the pepperoni off. 

Molly: You were just mistaken. 

(March 15, 2015)


Me: *changing Charlotte's poopy diaper*

Charlotte: *goes to put a toy near the poop*

Me: No!

Charlotte: Why?

Me: Because if you get poop on that toy, we'll have to throw it away. 

Charlotte: Why?

Me: Because poop can make you sick if you touch it. 

Charlotte: Oh. What about peepee?

Me:  Yes, peepee too. 

Charlotte: What about farts?

Me: Yeah sure. Farts too. 

Charlotte: *as if I'm very foolish* Mommy, farts are invisible!

(March 13, 2015)

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Dark Pasta

Charlotte: *bringing the remains of her picked-over pasta bake to Butch* Daddy, I don't wanna eat the pasta. 

Butch:  Why not?

Charlotte:  Because it's kind of light. I like dark. 

(March 8, 2015)

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Thank You

Charlotte:  *hands me something I asked her to bring me*

Me:  Thank you, baby girl.

Charlotte:  You mean, "Thank you, pretty girl."

(March 5, 2015)

Wednesday, March 4, 2015


Charlotte:  *looking around* Where can be Muno's jail? *tosses the Muno stuffie to the end of the bed* There can be his jail. 

Me:  Muno's going to jail?

Charlotte:  Mm-hmm. 

Me:  Why is Muno going to jail?

Charlotte:  Because he wanted to see waffles!

(March 4, 2015)

Friday, February 27, 2015

Whatever You Say So

Me:  *trying to explain something to Charlotte*

Charlotte:  *interrupting with a bored, skeptical tone* Okay, whatever you say so, Momma. 

(February 27, 2015)

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

In My Head

Molly:  *telling Butch about the video they watched in health class, during which a doctor removed a live heart, before which the teacher warned them that it would be icky and told them they could put their heads down if they didn't want to watch*

Butch:  So did you watch it?

Molly:  Yes. And then I said this sentence in my head: "I think I'm going to throw up."

(February 24, 2015)

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


Molly: *playing Minecraft and getting frustrated* Why do all these ocelots keep running away?!

Charlotte: *very matter-of-factly* Maybe dey don't yike you. 

(February 17, 2015)

Friday, February 13, 2015

Birds vs. Dinosaurs

Molly:  *watching a decent-sized bird take off from the sidewalk in front of us* Wow!

Me:  Pretty cool!

Molly:  What kind of bird was that?

Me:  I don't know. 

Molly:  Yeah, I don't know either. 

Charlotte:  What kind of biwd was dat?

Molly:  I don't know. I don't study birds; I study dinosaurs!

(February 13, 2014)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015


Charlotte:  *flipping the collar of my coat up to my face* Keep dees up wit youw hands. 

Me:  Why?

Charlotte:  *moving the sides of the collar to cover my mouth* To protect youw mouth from spiders. 

Me:  *laughing* Oh yeah?

Charlotte:  Yeah. To keep dem from kissin' you. 

(February 11, 2015)

Wednesday, February 4, 2015


Me:  *putting lotion on Charlotte's super-dry knees and shins*

Charlotte:  I don't yike this!  Theyw spose to be dry, I told you!

(February 4, 2015)

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


Molly:  *reading a book about the parasaurolophus* "Some scientists think a meteorite hit the Earth and the dinosaurs became extinct because of it." *pauses to look at me* Yeah, that's what I think, too. You know, I think I'm a scientist. Because I know a LOT about dinosaurs. 

(January 21, 2015)

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Grown Up

Molly: *reading a Harry Potter chapter with me, misreads the word "stupid"*

Me:  *pointing to the word, correcting* Stupid. 

Molly:  *giggles and gives me a sheepish grin* Oh. I shouldn't say that, should I?

Me:  Well, it's ok if you say it when you're reading it in a book. 

Molly:  Ok. *looks at the book, then back at me* I think I just want you to say it. 

Me:  Ok. *picks up the sentence* Stupid--

Molly:  *interrupting* Actually, I think I want to read it. 

Me:  Ok. 

Molly:  *turns back to the book and reads* Stupid *giggles and looks at me* I feel so grown up. 

(January 18, 2015)


Molly:  *pausing a YouTube video* Mommy . . . they said "drama" in this one. 

Me:  Ok?

Molly:  So can I still watch it or not?

Me:  "Drama" isn't a bad word. 

Molly:  It's not?  Oh. 

(January 18, 2015)

Friday, January 9, 2015

It Would Be Sweet

Charlotte:  Can I hab a piece of candy?

Me:  No.

Charlotte:  *cupping my face in her hands*  But it would be sweet if you said yes.

(January 9, 2015)

Sunday, January 4, 2015

In the Movie

Charlotte and Molly:  *playing in the toy room*

Charlotte:  Can I be Kristoff?

Molly:  Sure.

Charlotte:  *as Kristoff*  Will you maywy me?

Molly:  *as Anna*  Ugh, no.

Charlotte:  *as Kristoff*  But you did in da movie!

(January 4, 2015)

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 New Year's Interview with Molly

How old are you?  Six.
Who are your best friends?  Maddie and Charlotte.
What do you like about school?  Recess and reading.
If you could change your name, what would it be?  Elsa.
What do you love most about Mommy?  Her glasses.
What do you love most about Daddy?  His eyes.
What do you love most about Charlotte?  Her shirt.
What are some of your wishes for this year?  Two TVs so I can play Minecraft whenever I want.
What is your favorite food?  Pasta!
What is your favorite drink?  Milk.
What is your favorite toy?  Minecraft papercrafts.
What is your favorite TV show?  Paw Patrol.
What is your favorite movie?  Frozen.
What is your favorite book?  Harry Potter.
What is your favorite game?  Minecraft!
What is your favorite restaurant?  Pasta House.
What is your favorite holiday?  Christmas.
What is your favorite animal?  Zebra and cheetah.
What is your favorite color?  Rainbow and pink.
What is your favorite song?  "Let It Go."

2015 New Year's Interview with Charlotte

How old are you? Three years old.
Who are your best friends?  Lilly and Avery.
What do you like about your babysitter?  See my friends there.
If you could change your name, what would it be?  I don't know.
What do you love most about Mommy?  Kisses.
What do you love most about Daddy?  Hugs.
What do you love most about Molly?  Kisses too.
What are some of your wishes for this year?  I don't know.
What is your favorite food?  Frozen jelly beans.
What is your favorite drink?  Juice.
What is your favorite toy?  All of my toys.
What is your favorite TV show?  Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
What is your favorite movie?  Chicken Run and Frozen and The Aristocats.
What is your favorite book?  The pig one!  (I Like Me by Nancy Carlson)
What is your favorite game?  Hide and Seek.
What is your favorite restaurant?  Mexican!
What is your favorite holiday?  Christmas.
What is your favorite animal?  Monkey.
What is your favorite color?  Pink and Red.
What is your favorite song?  ABCs.

(January 1, 2015)