Do It

Me: What did you eat for lunch today?

Charlotte: I didn't have lunch.

Me: What? You're Daddy didn't feed you?! I'm gonna have to call the cops on him!

Charlotte:  Do it.

(August 2, 2017)

Timmy

Charlotte: This tooth is Timmy. *pause* I named my teeth.

(July 27, 2017)

The Hard Way

Molly: *attempting to help Charlotte with something*

Charlotte: Molly, I don't need help.

Molly: *continues "helping"*

Charlotte: Molly, I don't NEED help.

Molly: *continues "helping"*

Charlotte: Molly, I don't need help!

Molly: I'm just trying to make it easier.

Charlotte: I don't need easier. I'm fine with the hard way.

(July 26, 2017)

Um, No.

Molly: Mommy, can I play outside?

Me: No.

Molly: *starting to whine* But whyyyy? You're sitting right here and can see out the window.

Me: *pulling up the Weather app* Look at this.

Weather App: *displays current temperature of 91 degrees*

Me: You really wanna go out there?

Molly: Um, no.

(July 18, 2017)

Lots of Things

Molly and Charlotte: *showing me their yoga poses*

Me: Awesome! You guys are really good at tree pose.

Charlotte: I'm good at lots of things.

Me:  Oh yeah?

Charlotte: Uh-huh. I'm really good at rolling off the bed and not getting hurt.

(July 17, 2017)

Directly

Molly and Charlotte: *arguing upstairs*

Molly: If you throw that at me, I'm telling Mom directly!

(May 27, 2017)

Why Do You Do This to Me?

Butch: There's some leftover pasta, if you guys want that for lunch tomorrow.

Charlotte: Chicken?

Butch:  No, there's none of that left.

Charlotte:  Ugh! Why do you do this to me?!

(May 27, 2017)