Sunday, June 28, 2015


Charlotte:  *climbs into my lap and puts her head on my shoulder*

Me:  I think you're gettin' tired.

Charlotte:  No.

Me:  Uh-huh.  You're slowing down, and you want snug--

Charlotte:  *jumps up and runs across the room*  See?  I'm faster now!

(June 28, 2015)

Friday, June 26, 2015

Squito Bites

Charlotte: *watching Butch change his shirt* Ooh, I see some really big squito bites! *pointing to his nipples*

Butch: Um, no. Those are my boobies. 

(June 26, 2015)

Thursday, June 25, 2015


Molly: *discussing the baby birds from the nest above our front door, one of which fell from the nest and met an untimely demise* I love our baby birds! I even love the dead one, but I really love the undead ones. 

(June 25, 2015)

Wednesday, June 24, 2015


Me:  Molly, are you manipulating your sister?

Molly:  No! *pause* I don't even know what that means. 

(June 24, 2015)

Giant Poop

Charlotte:  That poopie was so big. It was like a giant. It almost blew my pull-up off!

(June 24, 2015)

Sunday, June 21, 2015


Molly: *in the back seat of the car, looking out the window, after about 30 minutes of quiet* I am angry at someone who littered. 

(June 21, 2015)

Saturday, June 20, 2015


Charlotte: *on the potty* Molly, why does my peepee smell like grapes?

(June 19, 2015)

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Not Right Now

Butch: Do you need to go potty?

Charlotte: No. Not right now.

Butch: Are you sure?

Me: Are you listening to your body?

Charlotte: Yes. It said not right now. *pauses, grabs her stomach in her hands and makes her voice deeper while using her hands to make her belly "talk"* Not right now.

(June 18, 2015)

Monday, June 15, 2015


Charlotte: *telling me about her weekend trip with Grandma B* We went to church before Eli's party at Marie's house, and we saw water spraying and flowers, and then we saw Jesus's butt. 

(June 15, 2015)

Friday, June 12, 2015

On My Nerves

Charlotte:  *climbing all over me while I lie on the couch using my laptop*

Me:  Are you trying to kill me?  Seriously, you're gettin' on my nerves here.

Charlotte:  With the climbin'?

Me:  Yes!  I am not your personal jungle gym.

Charlotte:  Well, you're gettin' on MY nerves with all the talkin'!

(June 12, 2015)

Thursday, June 11, 2015


Me:  *speaking in frustration at my computer* Come on. What are you trying to do to me, PowerSchool?!

Charlotte:  *sitting next to me on the couch*  Nothing! And. Don't. Call. Me. Power. School!

(June 11, 2015)

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Bad Words

Charlotte:  *being a stinker and refusing to go to Butch, who is sitting on the floor to change her diaper*

Me:  *after telling her multiple times to go get her diaper changed*  Charlotte, go get your freakin' diaper changed now!

Molly:  That's a bad word, Mom.

Me:  Yeah, well, it's not as bad as the one I really wanted to say.

Molly:  Oh, ok.

(June 6, 2015)

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Butch Owens

Butch: *looking for his misplaced school i.d., stops in front of his office door* Maybe I left it in there.

Charlotte:  Oh, Butch Owens. 

(June 3, 2015)

Ever Again

Me:  *at bedtime, stops rubbing Charlotte's back after a minute or so of absent-mindedly doing it*

Charlotte:  No. Keep doing it. 

Me:  *resumes*

Charlotte: *sternly* Don't stop ever again.

(June 3, 2015)