See?

Charlotte:  *climbs into my lap and puts her head on my shoulder*

Me:  I think you're gettin' tired.

Charlotte:  No.

Me:  Uh-huh.  You're slowing down, and you want snug--

Charlotte:  *jumps up and runs across the room*  See?  I'm faster now!

(June 28, 2015)

Squito Bites

Charlotte: *watching Butch change his shirt* Ooh, I see some really big squito bites! *pointing to his nipples*

Butch: Um, no. Those are my boobies. 

(June 26, 2015)

Undead

Molly: *discussing the baby birds from the nest above our front door, one of which fell from the nest and met an untimely demise* I love our baby birds! I even love the dead one, but I really love the undead ones. 

(June 25, 2015)

IDEK

Me:  Molly, are you manipulating your sister?

Molly:  No! *pause* I don't even know what that means. 

(June 24, 2015)

Giant Poop

Charlotte:  That poopie was so big. It was like a giant. It almost blew my pull-up off!

(June 24, 2015)

Angry

Molly: *in the back seat of the car, looking out the window, after about 30 minutes of quiet* I am angry at someone who littered. 

(June 21, 2015)

Grapes

Charlotte: *on the potty* Molly, why does my peepee smell like grapes?

(June 19, 2015)

Not Right Now

Butch: Do you need to go potty?

Charlotte: No. Not right now.

Butch: Are you sure?

Me: Are you listening to your body?

Charlotte: Yes. It said not right now. *pauses, grabs her stomach in her hands and makes her voice deeper while using her hands to make her belly "talk"* Not right now.

(June 18, 2015)

Church

Charlotte: *telling me about her weekend trip with Grandma B* We went to church before Eli's party at Marie's house, and we saw water spraying and flowers, and then we saw Jesus's butt. 

(June 15, 2015)

On My Nerves

Charlotte:  *climbing all over me while I lie on the couch using my laptop*

Me:  Are you trying to kill me?  Seriously, you're gettin' on my nerves here.

Charlotte:  With the climbin'?

Me:  Yes!  I am not your personal jungle gym.

Charlotte:  Well, you're gettin' on MY nerves with all the talkin'!

(June 12, 2015)

PowerSchool

Me:  *speaking in frustration at my computer* Come on. What are you trying to do to me, PowerSchool?!

Charlotte:  *sitting next to me on the couch*  Nothing! And. Don't. Call. Me. Power. School!

(June 11, 2015)

Bad Words

Charlotte:  *being a stinker and refusing to go to Butch, who is sitting on the floor to change her diaper*

Me:  *after telling her multiple times to go get her diaper changed*  Charlotte, go get your freakin' diaper changed now!

Molly:  That's a bad word, Mom.

Me:  Yeah, well, it's not as bad as the one I really wanted to say.

Molly:  Oh, ok.

(June 6, 2015)

Butch Owens

Butch: *looking for his misplaced school i.d., stops in front of his office door* Maybe I left it in there.

Charlotte:  Oh, Butch Owens. 

(June 3, 2015)

Ever Again

Me:  *at bedtime, stops rubbing Charlotte's back after a minute or so of absent-mindedly doing it*

Charlotte:  No. Keep doing it. 

Me:  *resumes*

Charlotte: *sternly* Don't stop ever again.

(June 3, 2015)